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TauBu High ABV Beer and Other Brews Owe Their History to Women

Women were the world's primary brew masters until Medieval monks stole the market out from under them and began brewing beer to sell to weary travelers.

Who knew that the world’s first beer might have been the divine creation of women? Well, to us here at TauBu, it makes perfect sense that it would be the fairer sex to brew up the original nectar of the gods. And archaeology backs us up.

It’s a long held belief that Sumerian women were the first to brew beer – a full four thousand years before Christ. This was a prestigious profession that only women were allowed to practice. Called Sabtiem, they made beers from a variety of strange ingredients including spices, peppers, tree bark and powdered crab claws. And their selling of beer was strictly regulated via the Code of Hammurabi. Payments for beer were received in measures of barley and if a Sabtiem was accused of shorting a buyer, she faced being tossed into the water to drown.

Recent research, however, suggests that tribal women of the Amazon rain forest beat the Sumerian Sabtiems to beermaking. Researchers estimate Amazonian women began brewing beer as early as 10,000 B.C., chewing cereal grains and spitting the resulting mash into clay pots. Salivary enzymes converted starches in the hard kernels to fermentable sugars. Some historians credit this early beer as perhaps the single most important diet staple back in the day, proving a valuable source of protein and vitamins while altering a tired and grumpy hunter-gatherer’s mood. In fact, some believe that beer might have been the primary persuasion for men to forsake the nomadic hunting and gathering lifestyle and settle into village life instead.

Pharaonic Egyptians argued that it was the goddess Hathor who was the inspiration for the first beer. The story goes that the sun god Re had become quite the cantankerous old guy and got so irked with the lesser beings’ sinful ways that he sent daughter Hathor to punish them. Apparently, Hathor took her assignment a little too seriously and, next thing Re knew, the streets were flooded with blood and the survival of mankind was in question. Here’s where the story gets murky. Some say Re mixed a bit of that blood with barley and fruit, while others say he gathered slave girls to concoct a brew and mix it with red dye to make it look like blood. Either way, the goal was to slow a crazed Hathor down – and it worked. The brew proved such a sweet distraction that Hathor forgot all about her gruesome assignment and soon ended up passed out for days, having no clue that she had just become the chief goddess of drunkenness.

Ancient Finnish people beg to differ, saying that beer was invented by three women preparing for a wedding feast. Alas, their brew was a bust until one of them got the bright idea to mix a bit of bear saliva with wild honey and voila – the brew finally foamed and beer was born into the world of men. Later, Viking women were the primary brewers in Norse society and European ale wives were so successful as cottage brewers that the powers that were levied taxes on their profits. Medieval monks caught on to the marketability of beer and began making it to sell to passing travelers. Then came the Industrial Revolution, which moved brewing from the home to the marketplace, where men began claiming local taverns as their domain.

Fortunately, you’ll find no tree bark, bear spit, crab claws or blood in your TauBu high ABV beer. But you will find us raising a cold Midnite Berry, Evil Apple or Wicked Punch to the brewster babes and beer wenches of yore. Thanks, ladies!

Summer’s Here – Try a Frosty New TauBu Malt Liquor Concoction

Pucker up for TauBu Girl Anna's favorite malt liquor concoction - a mix of TauBu Evil Apple and sour apple liqueur.

With the passing of the Summer Solstice last week, summer is officially in full swing. So, the TauBu Girls want to hook you up with a frosty new TauBu Malt Liquor mixed drink.

Anna’s favorite: Pucker Up

Fill a glass full of ice, then pour in one part sour apple liqueur and two parts two parts TauBu Evil Apple. The liqueur is your choice – lots of good ones out there. Stir it up, drink it down and feel your lips pucker from the tart taste the rest of the day.

Jolyne’s favorite: the Sex Bomb

Fill an ice cold pint glass half way with TauBu Midnite Berry. In a shot glass, mix one part orange liqueur and one part raspberry liqueur. Cointreau and Chambord work nicely, but again – your choice. Drop the shot glass in the pint glass and slam it! The sweetness of the raspberry and orange liqueur gets a nice, punchy balance from the Midnite Berry. Yum!

Yashira’s favorite: Dirty Water

“Ok, it doesn’t look tasty, but trust me, it is,” TauBu Girl Yashira says. Mix four parts TauBu Wicked Punch with four parts of your favorite lager – about a half pint each. Leave two shots worth of space at the top of your glass. Then add one part vodka and one part blackcurrant flavored spirit of your choice. Don’t know what blackcurrant is? Not your fault. It’s a glossy, dark purple-almost-black berry that’s big in Europe and Asia. Growing it was banned in the U.S. in the early 1900s because it was seen as a threat to the logging industry. The federal ban was shifted to jurisdiction of individual states in 1966 and it’s slowly making a comeback. Not only is it tasty, but its packed with nutrients, including an obnoxious amount of Vitamin C.

See, you learn something new every day with TauBu. And don’t worry. The cool, fruity taste will make you forget that you’re downing something that looks a lot like dirty dishwater.

Got a favorite malt liquor concoction for the summer? Send us your recipe via a blog comment or the TauBu Facebook fan page.

TauBu Girls Offer New College Grads a Little Advice

From the TauBu Girls and all of us here at TauBu - Congrats, grads!

Congrats, grads! Lift a can of TauBu high-octane beer and toast yourself for a job well done. Graduating college is a huge deal and you’ve earned yourself a party. Once you’ve sobered up, though we’ve got some sobering news for you: The frat boy/sorority girl life is done. Welcome to the real world. And take a little advice from our TauBu Girls. Granted, it’s the same stuff your folks have been telling you for months and you probably don’t want to hear it. Except that this time, it’s coming from the gorgeous TauBu Girls. We know – they’re young and some of them are still in college themselves. But they’re hot. And smart. And already have successful gigs. So pay attention…

From TauBu Girl Lauren: Lots of college grads are having a tough time finding work today. If you’re lucky enough to land a nice gig in your field of study right out of college, respect it. No one will snicker when you stroll into the office 15 minutes late looking like Zach Galifianakis. And those 40 reasons for not having your class assignment done won’t cut it with your boss when your client reports are due. You’ll soon find yourself out of a job and the apartment complex where you’re living now won’t be as lenient as the dorm ward when you’re late with the rent.

From TauBu Girl Yashira: Learn to handle your money. Budgeting is simple, but it ain’t easy. Just realize that you don’t have to run out and buy all the trappings of an adult life yet. The car you drive now probably runs just fine and there’s no shame in consignment furniture. Bar tabs add up quickly when you’ve got time on your hands and no 8 a.m. class the next morning. Live within your financial means, start saving now for retirement (seriously – now!) and get some health insurance.

From TauBu Girl Jolyne: Go back to school. Take a little break from the classroom, but keep learning. Take an art class, sign up with a Toastmasters chapter, go on a cultural exchange vacation. All those experiences will serve you well over your career. They’ll encourage creative thinking, boost your confidence and may prove to be great networking. You never know who you’ll meet along the way.

From all the TauBu Girls and the staff at TauBu, maker of America’s best new high-octane beer, congratulations, graduates. Now, go forth and conquer!

Meet Jolyne: June 2011 TauBu Girl

June 2011 TauBu Girl Jolyne will tackle you to the ground before you hit the 20-yard line. And you won't mind a bit.

Jolyne is an intoxicating mix of beauty and brawn. She’ll turn your head, then plant your arse in the AstroTurf before you get anywhere near the 10 yard line. Our June 2011TauBu Girl is more than a football fanatic, she’s a football star in her local lingerie league.

Growing up the only daughter with four brothers, Jolyne had no choice but to be a tomboy. She could tell a torque wrench from a T square before she was two, earned every honorary Boy Scout badge earnable and skipped copies of Seventeen for a subscription to Sports Illustrated. Sure, she tried the girly thing early on, cheerleading on her high school’s Junior Varsity team. But landing the perfect somersault just didn’t bring the same satisfaction she felt every time she sacked one of the neighborhood boys in a front yard pick-up football game.

“Team sports beat individual sports any day of the week,” Jolyne says. “Everyone learns how to pinpoint and improve their own strengths and weaknesses and how to play off those of their teammates to make that goal. And that’s something that applies to a lot of life – not just sports.”

Not that Jolyne isn’t every bit the gorgeous girl-next-door. She just doesn’t need a copy of Cosmopolitan to tell her she’s hot – whether she’s wearing game cleats or Christian Louboutin peep-toe pumps. And that whole contact sports thing helps keep her amazingly fit – an especially important factor when you’re doing scrimmages in your skivvies.

Want to play on the TauBu Girls team? Submit your online application and photos and we’ll set you up with an interview.

Way Back TauBu Girl Marilyn Monroe

Way Back TauBu Girl Marilyn Monroe only played dumb blondes in movies - she certainly wasn't one.

She would have turned 85 this month. And we bet she would still be beautiful. America’s most enduring sex symbol, Marilyn Monroe, is this month’s Way Back TauBu Girl.

Born Norma Jeane Mortenson, but baptized and raised as Norma Jeane Baker, Monroe had a troubled childhood. Her mother, a film cutter at RKO Studios, suffered from a mental illness and young Norma Jeane went from foster home to foster home before marrying high school sweetheart Jim Dougherty at age 16. It was while Doherty was away serving in the Merchant Marines that Monroe landed her first modeling gig. She had been working in the Radioplane Munitions Factory spraying airplane parts with fire retardant and inspecting parachutes when an Army photographer snapped a photo of her for Yank magazine. Soon after, she caught the eye of the Blue Book Modeling Agency and quickly became one of its most successful models. Dougherty found out about his young wife’s success only when he caught a shipmate admiring a revealing photo of her in a magazine.

Dougherty informed his young bride via letters that her modeling career must end with the completion of his tour at sea. Monroe responded with divorce papers and the two split in 1946. By this time, Monroe had caught the attention of Ben Lyon, a 20th Century Fox executive who compared her to Jean Harlow and offered her a six month contract with a starting salary of $126 a week – not bad coin in those days. And it was Lyon and his wife who gave Norma Jeane her soon-to-be-famous new moniker, Marilyn Monroe.

Monroe, of course, went on to become one of movie stardom’s most iconic sex symbols and its most talked-about celebrity. Her marriages to baseball great Joe DiMaggio and playwright Arthur Miller; the nude photo from a 1949 session that emerged in 1952; her habitual tardiness and stage fright; and her  rumored affairs with members of the Kennedy clan provided lots of media fodder. And questions surrounding her 1962 death persist to this day.

Were Monroe around to celebrate her 85th birthday this year, we’d love to share a few drinks and hear a few stories with our honorary Way Back TauBu Girl. Instead, we’ll leave you with a few of our favorite quotes and footage of Monroe and “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes” co-star Jane Russell placing their prints and signatures in the concrete outside the famous Grauman’s Chinese Theater in 1953. Enjoy!

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.”

“We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets.”

“I’ve never fooled anyone. I’ve let people fool themselves. They didn’t bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn’t argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn’t.”

“I don’t mind living in a man’s world, as long as I can be a woman in it.”

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”

“It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”


 

TauBu Girl Lauren’s Beer Battered Onion Rings Recipe

Mmmm - TauBu Lauren cooks up beer battered onion rings Evil Apple style.

Father’s Day lunch, graduation parties and summer cookouts call for some yummy eats this month. TauBu Girl Lauren, who happens to be quite the culinary goddess, shares her favorite beer battered onion rings recipe.

Here’s what you need:

  • 1 cup of all-purpose flour
  • 1 teaspoon of salt
  • A pinch of cayenne pepper
  • 3/4 cup of buttermilk
  • 3/4 cup TauBu Beer (Lauren’s fave with this recipe is Evil Apple)
  • 1 large egg
  • 1 teaspoon of  lemon zest, finely grated
  • 4 cup of vegetable oil
  • 2 large white onions cut crosswise into 1/2-inch-thick slices and separated into rings
  • Sea salt (enough to flavor it the way you like it)
  • 1 lemon, cut into wedges, for serving

Here’s what you do:

Mix the flour, salt and cayenne pepper in a bowl. Whisk in the buttermilk, Evil Apple beer, egg, and lemon zest. Let it stand for about 20 minutes so all the flavors seep into one another. Meanwhile, pop a baking sheet into your oven and preheat the oven to 200 degrees. In a large, heavy saucepan, heat the oil over a medium-to-high heat. Dip the onion slices into your batter. Be sure to turn them over so the whole ring gets coated. Gently drop the slices into the oil. And by gently, we mean gently. Seriously. Or you’ll end up with a greasy mess and a flavorless chunk of onion. Cook your onion slices for about two minutes. Turn them over a time or two until they’re golden brown.

Once they’ve got that beautiful golden brown look, move your onion rings onto a stack of paper towels to let the excess oil soak away. Season your onion rings with salt, them place them on the baking sheet to keep them warm. Serve them up with the lemon wedges for squeezing and drizzling a little more flavor on them. Of course, make sure you’ve got some cold TauBu Evil Apple, Midnite Berry and Wicked Punch on hand too. Then, practice looking modest to prepare for the endless compliments and recipe requests you’re gonna get from your guests.